Learning about a Culture through Volunteer Work

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One of the largest benefits of volunteering for me is actually getting into a culture. Though it’s only a small window into life here, it still gives me a bit of an understanding of how my life would be different if I lived here. I love that aspect of travel…seems a very good way to ferret out who I am, how much of me is ‘American’ and what parts are ‘Joyce’. How does being a woman in America might differ from being a woman in Ukraine? I had lots of robust experience with that today!
Staying with a Ukrainian family here in Cherkasy is giving me a lovely insight. Nataly is a hard working loving single mom. Her oldest son was hit by a car when he was young and they didn’t know if he would recover at all or at best be brain damaged. She prayed. And while she prayed her husband left her with 2 small children. The miracle was that her son fully recovered and is 28 yr old, working, and her other son, 21, is also strong but having a tough time in this economy finding work as a trained mechanic. The mom has always worked hard as a journalist and took in volunteers to help her sons learn English. She has done an amazing job and still has a smile on her face. Nataly has gone for 11 days on business and now the young son who lives here is taking care of us. (Us? A Brit came to live here too. He’s around 40.) Sasha, the youngest son, is married and his young wife who is a cleaning maniac is here too. Neither one of them works right now and they stay home all day. It must be tough. She is from farm country and doesn’t like the city…plus she has no job and he, of course, likes the city. But the custom is for the woman to go to where the man’s family lives. I hope they both find good jobs soon.
We have a cozy group except that these toilets do not flush very well and is there anything more embarrassing than a log that won’t flush. I feel so bad! “Hello, I was wondering if you could help me again. I have a log jam.” Not sure how to solve that one, always embarrassed but guess we are learning about each others cultures. Do you think that was like way too gross to blog? Tee hee, ho hum….some of you say you like to know the details!!!
So after that, it’s only natural to move on to greed and corruption. When I look for a place to volunteer, I usually get a feel for it before I leave but never know for sure. There are big expensive volunteer organizations that charge huge sums of money and keep most of it for their own salaries and fancy booklets to attract volunteers. (A more formal acceptable capitalist form of greed) I stay away from them and when I teach my classes on volunteer travel I also advise my students to find cheaper ways. Know where the money is going.
So, this project is not very expensive…$500 for food and lodging for a month and my understanding was that all the money would go to the orphanage and my homestay. Enter greed and a weasel. The cagey man who runs this program has found that he can tap into people’s desire to do something good and fill his pocket. He has a website, he brings people from all over the world, finds them lodging but the majority of the money doesn’t go where he says..it goes in his pocket.
Today I was very frustrated with him as I have asked for another orphanage to work at to fill more of my time and he has not helped me. I have mornings here where I could be helping or learning or doing. So we had to have a bit of a shake down. Lee the volunteer from UK was backup as he is also not happy with how his time is being filled. He’s a builder and had hoped that he would be able to teach his skills, or teach English to older kids though he is only here for a week. Alex told me yet again that tomorrow he would maybe work on it. Tomorrow maybe would be different. He has been telling me this for a week now. I was not pleased with that answer and told him that maybe I would need to find my own opportunities. He told me that would be fine but I would have to move out. What? Well, you can tell lesson number 1, the Ukrainian bossman is not happy with a contrary woman. Seems a bit crazy that he would not be more helpful doesn’t it? I’m here. I’m great with kids. I want to help. So what is behind his unwillingness to help me I thought? Why isn’t he more motivated to find me more volunteer work?
Follow the money. We asked him where the money goes. He said he gives the orphanage 5%, and then he lied and said that Nataly gets the rest. We will ask Nataly how much rent money she gets because he always asks for the payment privately and doesn't give it to her directly. Seems to me I should be able to find out from him exactly how much is going where.
So, I am learning about both sides of a culture and he is learning about me and Lee (the American and the Brit). And here where corruption has reigned for a long time, where money is survival, the custom is to pay the man in charge. (Apparently even some not all teachers take bribes for good grades but that’s another story)
I guess a part of me understands that in the wild the clever animals survive and maybe this life here has been more about survival. Ukraine only became independent in 1991. But my lofty values really don’t like someone using an orphanage as a front for making money. Perhaps if he told the truth upfront…then there would be no problems. And so what I think needs to happen is that I explain why his process is offensive to me and perhaps he can explain to me why his process is necessary for him and his country. (Turns out besides the car he drives me around in he has a Mercedes. And its good to make money but not on lies.)
But on the good side of what he is doing… I do know that the children love having volunteers and that for me playing with the kids is a GREAT way to spend the day. I have really been having fun getting to know them. And Nataly who makes $300/mo finds the extra rent money helpful but it’s about knowing the truth of where the money goes. Is this the only way for something good to be accomplished here? Perhaps? Is it wrong for me to impose my cultural values here? And if there wasn't a greed factor would anyone be there to pick up the work? Perhaps a US or UK ngo? So, it was an interesting united nations today. Lee from the UK, me, Sasha the son and Alex, the organizer.
Sasha says that this pocketing the money is the way here but he thinks its fine that I gave Alex my opinion. I dont' want to involve the family. I'll have to talk to my college students that I am working with about this situation and get their feedback.
I also was interested to know how he took having me confront him directly. Like how does a woman questioning a man work here anyway?:) He wanted to walk right out but Lee told him no, you must stay here and work this out. Yea for the Brit! I do think this conflict will ultimately be a good thing but it was not pleasant. But then I don’t travel the world to find out that it is just like home. And Pollyanna I’m not (well, a touch)…plus my culture has its own issues.
My solution? I told him that I would pay my money directly to Nataly for the rent since that is what he told me happens to it all. I’ll give a donation to the orphanage but nothing more to him. Urgh…. That is if he finds more for me to do and I stay here. Stay tuned for next Friday rent day!! I don't think he is representative of Ukrainian men. Need to find some more adults to discuss this with.
I am also home today googling for volunteer opportunities in Kharkov which is where my dad was born. I’m hoping that I can find something there this week and go there on Friday for the last two weeks. If that doesn’t work out, Lee has an American friend who started an NGO in Crimea… if you’re like me you need to look it up to find it. If I don’t find anything good in Kharkov, I might travel there as Lee knows this Dave who speaks Ukrainian and has contacts with orphanages.
All in all today has been a huge education all the way around. Remembering to always be aware that there is the light and the dark. Can’t ask for more than that!!