Orphanage #1

I haven’t written about the kids at orphanage #1 much…think I’ve been avoiding thinking about them because as much as I love these kids I’ll have to leave them. If their parents don’t get their act together in one month’s time, then they will go to a permanent orphanage or to a school that has both kids with parents and boarding for orphans. They will stay there until they are 18 but unlike Sasha they won’t have a apartment to go to, no home to live in. Alex told me that there are Training schools and the orphans can board there and Sergei told me that they get about $2/mo. So, as Sergei says the country has a problem…100,000 orphans who will grow up and need to find jobs, housing, etc. Ripe for a good solution. Wish an NGO would form to take on part of this here.
But back to my kids….
I am in love. I’ve been here long enough to know their personalities, games they like to play and for them to know that when I come I’m the adult who plays. I come to them each afternoon and get this lovely reception. Alin, a 2 ½ yr old little girl gives me a kiss, looks into my eyes and then a hug. Two twins that must be 4 come to play a sailor went to sea sea sea. There is another 2 year old boy who is very shy but he likes to play near me. The rest of that group is Olah, who is 7 yr old, probably given too much authority with the other children and her sister Alin. The other day she was in the bathroom with Alin and must have done something mean. The housekeeper, who always is smiling, heard Alin cry and she walked in and I heard this huge slap, then a scream and Olah came running out holding her face. Hard for me. Very very hard. Olah sometimes comes over and curls up on my lap and I rub her back…but this is just a moment in time. I can’t even explain to her when I leave.
And there is new 3 yr old…Liza…she pretty much was a wild one when she came and they have rules here. But I notice that she is blooming under the rules, playing with the other kids. As for the rules…when you sleep, when you nap,what you do when you wake up, how you pull your chair over for snack and put it back, slippers on , slippers off, lots of rules to keep the order and to train these children who come from some really rough backgrounds to actually be taken from their parents by the police. I think the rules are great .
So, the other day with this group of 11 I bought 6 little cars and 6 dinosaurs. (The store did not have two packages of either…urgh) Oh, my gosh, it was the biggest event ever. They all just couldn’t believe that they had their own toy. They were so happy. Such a little thing created so much happiness. I just soaked it in. Bittersweet.
The room they play in has one set of building blocks and that’s it. So, we play inside for an hour or so and then head outside to the playground for jumping, running, basketball…you know the drill. I bought chalk for everyone…another big hit. It doesn’t really take much to bring a little spark to their lives.
In another group there are 5 sisters from the same family. They are 12-16…can you imagine being taken from your mother at this age? Very nice girls. But they put the youngest one…who is normally really sweet to help with that first youngest group I told you about. Usually Kolah, this wonderful 16 yr old boy plays with them and he is patient, kind, gets them playing games. Well, this girl does not like her babysitting I guess. I was in another room with the kids…doll houses, stuffed animals, cribs and the little kids were all being kids playing make believe having fun. She walked in and yelled at each one…big yells, moved the toys back to where they were, made each one cry! I was shocked…what was it? Did we have to go outside, clean up, what the hell was it that would make her scream? Are we supposed to play in a playroom without moving toys? I was at a loss…my kids all frightened.
I tried to mime to her are you angry, sad, what is wrong? She smiled and said nothing, fine. I mimed breathe, calm, and said patience….come sit here with me. She is a lovely lovely girl and I was shocked out of my mind to have her rant at the little ones. She doesn’t know about another way or something? This is the part when not having an interpreter makes me NUTS!
So it’s tough here when I don’t know the language and miss all kinds of things. I’m guessing a lot of the time. The kids have many many tough lessons that they cannot be protected from…getting slapped, screamed at. One little boy cries every time they make him sit on this pot…and it really is a pot! What is that about? Some of the kids are wearing shoes that are too small, not warm enough clothes. I know the orphanage tries to do their best but jeez….no hugs, few smiles, gruff orders…but not all. There are a few of the teachers who are warm, loving with the kids.
In the older group, there is a 6 yr old boy who rescued his 2 sisters from their house fire. The mom was out drinking. He is amazing…smart, wants to learn, strong, and really fun to play with. His sister now after 3 weeks will almost smile at me but then I’ll be gone won’t I. In that group are two brothers who are full of life, love to play, seem to be adjusting to life here but then the 3 teachers of the older group are also kinder behind their gruffness. This is a tough job as the kids are always changing...no continuity so hats off to the ones who can manage to train these kids to follow the rules and provide a kind atmosphere. I'm sure if I was in charge there were be utter chaos!
I was at the fountain in the park the other day and saw all .the loving parents with their children running around and I thought oh my gosh….my kids can never go to a park. They are confined to that orphanage for 1 month and after that a boarding school. So, the thought now is how to help them? I think we could send some things to them or if you like, I could buy something for the orphanage for you while I’m here. A little money goes a long way….let me know….balls, games, more cars…crayons, coloring books, dolls. Shoes!!! Yea, maybe shoes!! Is there an NGO that does Shoes for Orphans? Thinking if there isn’t one that might be very cool to start?? I saw a group of very well dressed women leaving the orphanage the other day with empty boxes and I hope they were bringing clothes, maybe shoes. Wonder how to get local people volunteering here too…the ones who have the time and don’t have to work long hours. I'm quite sure the way I see people care about their children here that they would be game to help out. Or maybe they do...again, without the language, I miss a lot. Just two eyes, no ears looking at things. But let me know if you want me to buy something and what it is and you can mail me a check later.
So, there it is. I have to really focus on the idea that I am here for moment in time to bring some laughter to a child and then need to be able to walk away. They aren’t thinking about their whole lives…they are just in the moment. So, those are some of my kids…the afternoon job. They are so much fun for me to play with even when they are jabbering away in my face telling me all kinds of things and all I can do is look, smile and say da da or neit. Still works somehow. The sanitorium is a totally different experience…more on that later. .

Orphanage #1

I haven’t written about the kids at orphanage #1 much…think I’ve been avoiding thinking about them because as much as I love these kids I’ll have to leave them. If their parents don’t get their act together in one month’s time, then they will go to a permanent orphanage or to a school that has both kids with parents and boarding for orphans. They will stay there until they are 18 but unlike Sasha they won’t have a apartment to go to, no home to live in. Alex told me that there are Training schools and the orphans can board there and Sergei told me that they get about $2/mo. So, as Sergei says the country has a problem…100,000 orphans who will grow up and need to find jobs, housing, etc. Ripe for a good solution. Wish an NGO would form to take on part of this here.
But back to my kids….
I am in love. I’ve been here long enough to know their personalities, games they like to play and for them to know that when I come I’m the adult who plays. I come to them each afternoon and get this lovely reception. Alin, a 2 ½ yr old little girl gives me a kiss, looks into my eyes and then a hug. Two twins that must be 4 come to play a sailor went to sea sea sea. There is another 2 year old boy who is very shy but he likes to play near me. The rest of that group is Olah, who is 7 yr old, probably given too much authority with the other children and her sister Alin. The other day she was in the bathroom with Alin and must have done something mean. The housekeeper, who always is smiling, heard Alin cry and she walked in and I heard this huge slap, then a scream and Olah came running out holding her face. Hard for me. Very very hard. Olah sometimes comes over and curls up on my lap and I rub her back…but this is just a moment in time. I can’t even explain to her when I leave.
And there is new 3 yr old…Liza…she pretty much was a wild one when she came and they have rules here. When you sleep, what you do when you wake up, how you pull your chair over for snack and put it back, slippers on , slippers off, lots of rules to keep the order and to train these children who come from some really rough backgrounds to actually be taken from their parents by the police.
So, the other day with this group of 11 I bought 6 little cars and 6 dinosaurs. (The store did not have two packages of either…urgh) Oh, my gosh, it was the biggest event ever. They all just couldn’t believe that they had their own toy. They were so happy. Such a little thing created so much happiness. I just soaked it in. Bittersweet.
The room they play in has one set of building blocks and that’s it. So, we play inside for an hour or so and then head outside to the playground for jumping, running, basketball…you know the drill. I bought chalk for everyone…another big hit. It doesn’t really take much to bring a little spark to their lives.
In another group there are 5 sisters from the same family. They are 12-16…can you imagine being taken from your mother at this age? Very nice girls. But they put the youngest one…who is normally really sweet to help with that first youngest group I told you about. Usually Kolah, this wonderful 16 yr old boy plays with them and he is patient, kind, gets them playing games. Well, this girl does not like her babysitting I guess. I was in another room with the kids…doll houses, stuffed animals, cribs and the little kids were all being kids playing make believe having fun. She walked in and yelled at each one…big yells, moved the toys back to where they were, made each one cry! I was shocked…what was it? Did we have to go outside, clean up, what the hell was it that would make her scream? Are we supposed to play in a playroom without moving toys? I was at a loss…my kids all frightened.
I tried to mime to her are you angry, sad, what is wrong? She smiled and said nothing, fine. I mimed breathe, calm, and said patience….come sit here with me. She is a lovely lovely girl and I was shocked out of my mind to have her rant at the little ones. She doesn’t know about another way or something? This is the part when not having an interpreter makes me NUTS!
So it’s tough here. The kids have many many tough lessons that they cannot be protected from…getting slapped, screamed at. One little boy cries every time they make him sit on this pot…and it really is a pot! What is that about? Some of the kids are wearing shoes that are too small, not warm enough clothes. I know the orphanage tries to do their best but jeez….no hugs, few smiles, gruff orders…but not all. There are a few of the teachers who are warm, loving with the kids.
In the older group, there is a 6 yr old boy who rescued his 2 sisters from their house fire. The mom was out drinking. He is amazing…smart, wants to learn, strong, and really fun to play with. His sister now after 3 weeks will almost smile at me but then I’ll be gone won’t I. In that group are two brothers who are full of life, love to play, seem to be adjusting to life here but then the 3 teachers of the older group are also kinder behind their gruffness.
I was at the fountain in the park the other day and saw all .the loving parents with their children running around and I thought oh my gosh….my kids can never go to a park. They are confined to that orphanage for 1 month and after that a boarding school. So, the thought now is how to help them? I think we could send some things to them or if you like, I could buy something for the orphanage for you while I’m here. A little money goes a long way….let me know….balls, games, more cars…crayons, coloring books, dolls. Shoes!!! Yea, maybe shoes!! Is there an NGO that does Shoes for Orphans? Thinking if there isn’t one that might be very cool to start?? I saw a group of very well dressed women leaving the orphanage the other day with empty boxes and I hope they were bringing clothes, maybe shoes. Wonder how to get local people volunteering here too…the ones who have the time and don’t have to work long hours. Let me know if you want me to buy something and what it is and you can mail me a check later.
So, there it is. I have to really focus on the idea that I am here for moment in time to bring some laughter to a child and then need to be able to walk away. They aren’t thinking about their whole lives…they are just in the moment. But I would love them to have shoes that fit. Any one game to help?
So, those are some of my kids…the afternoon job. They are so much fun for me to play with even when they are jabbering away in my face telling me all kinds of things and all I can do is look, smile and say da da or neit. Still works somehow. The sanitorium is a totally different experience…more on that later. .

Easter traditions

All’s well in the motherland. It is so interesting learning about life under communism, gining their independence and Chernobyl. It’s all relatively recent. 1991 for independence. Natalya came home for the weekend holiday and since her boys are elsewhere she and I have been talking. Well, I’m listening..she’s quite a talker and with her accent and broken English I think I’m getting things correctly but I’m not sure! I do think she’s a wonderful mother, a hard worker and someone who knows how to endure hardship. “That’s life” she says a lot. And smiles.
She asked today where I get my dark skin. The mysterious coloring. Though I’ve been here just 2 weeks I’m getting a tan and it’s a contrast to the creamy white here. I have seen some kids with my coloring though.
So Easter is bigtime here. You go to the church at 11pm Sat, get your food blessed, your willows that will turn into tea that you wash with, and then go home about 4 am for breakfast. Not everyone goes the fulltime or at all but this morning she and I had the traditional breakfast. She had cooked all day yesterday even though the kids aren’t home and then it sits out on the table overnight…it’s tradition. She is not to light fire today. She told me that everyone was calling this morning to tell her on their way back from church…”Christ has risen!” She sort of chuckled.
First off, she said we must have a glass of homemade wine! A toast! 8am. Then colored eggs that we have to crack with another egg not a utensil on the top and the bottom. I think it’s a contest to see whose egg is strongest. After that there is special bread like a giant cupcake with frosting on top that is the only bread you are supposed to eat for 3 days. There was also a chicken stew with the fat congealed on the top, a fish soup that was on the stove overnight, some great cabbage salted and stored in a big jar for 2 weeks that is good for your entire digestive system, another fish salad, there’s a whole baked chicken on the table that is not visually very appetizing. Another mushroom and something else dish that was cooked yesterday and looks weird. The overnight on the table thing without seran wrap is certainly a new one. So, I ate a bit of everything and really all good. I’m really enjoying all the different cabbages. Get ready Paul, I’ll be making a mixture for our digestion!!
During breakfast she told me more folklore, more about her life, and then showed me LOTS of photos on the computer. Maybe a bit long…like 2 hours but she’s really sweet and trying to get me to learn about their culture. Told me this great romantic story about a woman many years ago who was a slave. Sounds like a book actually if its not already. The trick on all of this is that I need to fill in the missing words correctly and not change the story. She doesn’t want to be interrupted as she really loves telling stories. I’m listening and thinking…interpreting what I think she means to say.
After the long photo show, I wandered into the kitchen thinking I’d make myself maybe a cheese sandwich as I am supposed to make my own food here and feel bad when I eat theirs. But she said “sit down. We have vodka now! Homemade from my sister.” So there I was wine for breakfast and a shot of vodka for lunch!! After a toast we threw that back, throat is now really clear and Nataly said “this will help clear all the blood vessels in brain! Want another one? Eat cabbage now. Very good after vodka” Guess I best have another one then? Over lunch I learned more. I think all day I’ve said about 20 words. It’s just so nice. Her youngest married son is spending the weekend at his in-laws at the farm in the country and the oldest is doing the same with his girlfriend and a group of friends.
Tomorrow is a holiday for everyone and the tradition is to go to the cemetery and visit the graves. She won’t be able to because her family land is too far away and she needs to go back to her coursework…a 7 hr trainride away. She told me that her father had a problem with vodka and was aggressive and there were problems. He died at around 50 and her mom at 75. Her mom was a very strong woman as well and when she was dying she refused to be buried next to her husband. NO way will I be next to him! So she is buried in a different cemetery all together!
I could go on and on …..like the carrots, the potatoes....she gives me her real life story. I’ll be heading out this afternoon to visit my kids from the halfway house orphanage as they cannot go home for the holidays. I need to stop at the store and buy some candy for them. You can probably tell that I am really relaxed and comfortable here. Work with the children is really fun for me. I enjoy teaching as always, small classrooms, 35 min classes, just a few naughty boys and mostly pure enthusiasm that is just very very heartwarming. But for the computer that disconnects in the middle of an email, little stress…well, as long as I don’t have to talk to mr. greed, Alex, the dude that runs this program..
I told him I wanted to know exactly what percent of my room and board goes to him. He hemmed and hawed. I said fine if you don’t want to tell me but it is customary in my country to be open and before I can recommend a program I need to know the details. His wife who pretends that she doesn’t speak English suggested that he write it all down for me. Why not just tell me? Well, we’ll see if he does. I can’t ignore the fact that he is a sneaky b---. So, we’ll see. Sasha says there is no changing him that it is just the way he is and the country is. But he also says that is what is wrong with the country. Moving away from corruption must be one of the toughest things in developing countries. So, even if there is no change perhaps some exposure to our western style is not a bad thing. And Sasha gets a kick out of me questioning Alex. When I talk to Alex, Sasha always stands nearby and gives me little smiles. Both sons seem to dislike him but maybe not.
Okeedokeee…that’s it for today. Going to research Simon Says type games on the computer!! Hope things are going strong for you there. Stay in touch! Two weeks done, two weeks to go. Love, Joyce (If you like the blog thing…which I am only so so about…I posted some new things, new descriptions)

Wandering around the Market

Wandering around the Market
I took a full day off today even though I felt a bit guilty not dropping in on my orphans. Just felt like having a walkabout as I have not done that yet. Cherkasy is really easy and really difficult. Easy in that it is safe, manageable. Difficult in that no one speaks English and it’s so frustrating not to be able to talk to people. I have an idea for a business here like the project I was at in Spain. Just need to find the right person to pull it together.
So, they have this enormous walkabout market that all the local farmers come in for. It goes on for blocks and was a feast for my eyes. Unbelievable new things to see and the babushkas selling were each so enchanting. I wanted to find a quiet corner and just watch. The print of their clothes, the wrinkles in their skin, the look of the outdoors and hard work on their faces and their produce in small burlap bags on the table or in an artistic pile. Pike Place market Ukraine style! I love weathered faces their heads covered in bright babushkas. Feels like life. No pretenses. Grains of all kinds, herbs, a man holding fresh bay leaves for sale in a bouquet, pomegranates that were small but jam packed with berries, a mountain of pomegranate berries, clumps of dirt on carrots, potatoes, beets, all beautifully displayed on tables. We make everything so clean at home. Imagine buying a dirty carrot! It is not appreciated…my staring so I had to kind of sneak looks at their faces. It feels like I can get their life if I can watch. They are so beautiful to me.
Walked to the next area, fish. Woo…lots of weird fish let me tell you and though the salmon looked familiar I just wasn’t too sure about any of the rest. Dried fish, hanging from a line, fish, really bloody fish..we don’t get bloody fish in Seattle, guess it would be too real, like dirt on a carrot. But then I went to more of a closed in fish place with a real roof. It was the worst smell ever. I’ve never really smelled fish guts, blood and scales in a closed space..unf—ing believable. I kept walking in because I wanted to know if my noise would adjust…slim, blood, fish guts, …so real and so gross. No manicured fish market. So, maybe we get detached from reality because our food is so removed from reality. It’s all so real here. Took a photo and thought the fishman would jump over and grab my camera he gave me such a dirty look. Forget the little Joyce smile getting to know people. NOT! Guess I can take the little fishes photo but not mr DeNiro.
On to the clothes. Everyone has a tented structure with their particular type of clothing. Bras, hosiery, kids clothes, sweaters, jeans, you wear it they have it. And there are even tents that have canned goods neatly stacked and labeled.. They pack it all in at the end of the day. Rows of shoes.
I wandered for hours and one woman stopped to talk to me. She said a lot to me but who knows. I liked her though. There are no tourists in Cherkasy which makes shopping really enjoyable. It’s low key. I can look at things and walk away. Sunglasses must be HUGE here because there are racks and racks of them.
Nataly calls this the Black Market but since it is out in the open not sure what’s black about it. Moved on to a two story circular building with meat counters and scales on the fist floor and a balcony around the top with more meat. All kinds of liver, heart, pigs feet, chicken, beef, you name it was sitting out waiting for that next lucky customer. Nataly says beef is expensive here. I’ve not priced it yet but maybe I’ll buy some for the family when I leave. Lots of people were out maybe because Easter is tomorrow. Yes, I know that you all had Easter but this is Orthodox Christian and I guess they are operating on a different calendar. Christmas is Dec 7 but Easter is their most important holiday. More about that later. On the way home I stopped at a bread stand to buy some bread. They don’t really get writing down total price here for me though I explain it. And they get a bit nervous that I don’t understand. I tried laughing so that she would relax as she was trying to explain what was inside the sweetrolls and kept saying the words over and over. I finally said, Da Da and she felt better. Next time I come here I will have studied the language! Also, passed a man who was selling old albums—Pink Floyd, Abba—no Beattles but pretty cool to see them.
Still crazy about this weather with a clear blue sky, sunshine and a bit of wind. Cool but not cold. I think all doses of sunshine are good for a Seattle woman and its been 2 weeks of playing outside in sunshine. On to Easter tomorrow the biggest religious holiday here.